Yes I was petrified. I had done a tandem before and knew a little more what to expect but it still didn’t prepare me. What will help, especially on the AFF jumps, is if you drill the dive from the point of taking your position in the door. Drill it so it becomes automatic then when you are in the plane it will become automatic – you won’t have to think and your body will take over. I was scared, everyone was, you just learn how to deal with it. My first jump I was the last group out of the plane on a second pass over the airport. So the plane flew around for 10 minutes with just me and my jumpmasters. I sat about as far from the door as you could get. About every minute my primary JM asked “Are you ready to skydive?”, of course I’d answer yes. Then my mind would race – This is dumb, I can just say go down, I don’t have to do this etc etc etc.. Then when I heard “Take your position in the door” it was automatic. I just did what I had practiced on the ground and didn’t even think about what was “out there” beyond the door. Because no matter what you think it is, it probably won’t be anything you expect.

Everyone has dealt with and deals with the fear. You can petrify yourself, freeze your mind. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is – relax. Relax your mind and body. Once you’re out in the air you will relax because your body and mind realize you are committed and it isn’t the falling sensation most people think it is. Deal with 1 thing at a time. First getting out the door, then get stable, then COA, prcp’s, COA, 5-5, look reach pull, check, 1 1000, 2 1000, 3 1000, check chute (good shape, no spin and quiet), toggles down, control ability check and then check for the airport. The second piece of advice is HAVE FUN!!! That is why we do this right? Everyone deals with fear, many one each and every dive they just learn how to control it, control their mind. It is all a mind game – it is what we think will happen, or expect which may never happen. You have to learn to deal with what happens as it happens and not worry about what could, or should. It sounds like a lot to deal with. I started july 4 1996 and have over 70 dives now so I know very well what you went through and will go through. If others have dealt with it, and I have dealt with it, you can deal with it. It takes different things for different people. Everyone has their “sticking points”. Each dive you will remember more, your awareness will grow, your coordination will grow, your confidence will grow. I was scared on all my AFF dives and many of the dives I did right after AFF. I was so scared until probably my level 4 AFF. It was on this dive I had the most fun and knew that this was a sport I loved. Each dive I got a little less scared or learned to deal with it better. No sense wasting energy on something that may not happen. You don’t dread driving because you learned to deal with things as they happen when you’re behind the wheel. Same in skydiving, just deal with what happens.

I know what it was and is like to be scared. You’ll reap great rewards facing that fear and overcoming it. I think thats what is truly amazing about this sport.

Steve’s additions

An additional technique to add to Craig Rasmussen’s Program on Defeating Fear that I found helpful, and offer to others is the following:

First, break “the big situation” down into little steps. Example, put on the appropriate clothes, be they a jump suit or a dance outfit. Next step is to go to the place where the situation will occur. Next step, observe the conditions. Next step, jump in, or jump out, accordingly.

Do these quickly, but you need only concern yourself with the immediate steps, one at a time, as you progress with each step leading up to the “big situation or event”.

The second part is to give yourself permission to back out at any time, at any point within each of these steps.

Yogi Steve